Saturday, September 22, 2007

Relating to the king

Hello my dear ones!

As you all know, I am currently facilitating Beth Moore's study of Daniel. We just finished week four and we will watch session five tomorrow. I feel a kinship with the king in Daniel chapter four. I became very rebellious during my college years. I won't get into all the details but you name it I probably tried it in those days. Well after I was married in 1987, I began to have panic attacks. I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and could not breathe. My husband would have to drive me around outside with the windows of our car down until I could catch my breath. I began having nightmares and feeling suicidal. During this time I was hospitalized on three separate occasions. I know first hand about mental illness. I am not sure how much of my illness was inherited since I have several family members that suffer, but I do know what it is like to "not be in your right mind." (just like the rebellious king) I found myself relying on secular counseling. Most of my counselors thought my main problem was the fact I was married to a Christian man. Poor me! Even worse he was planning on going into the ministry! I was doomed! (according to my psychiatrist) I spent several years fighting against everything I knew in my heart was right.

But the Lord did not destroy my tree. He left me as a stump that would once again grow. (see chapter four of Daniel to understand the reference) Eventually I was introduced to a Godly counselor. We spent a lot of time examining my abuse from a Christian perspective. We created something called the "Jesus Box" where I used a filing system to deal with my past hurts by looking at them as Jesus would. It was life changing! I am now a prosperous mission's pastor's wife that loves reading The Word and ministering to whoever she can wherever she can! Yes, I have been in the pit, and occasionally even now I teeter on the edge, but The Lord always yanks me back as any good parent would if their precious child was about to fall in. I love you Lord and I lift my voice to worship you! Keep at it my dear ones! He loves you so much and so do I!

Love ya
Kristi B.


connorcolesmom said...

I do have you down for a room with your husband. It is going to be so much fun!
God is going to allow us siestas to really be blessed by one another that weekend. He has used each of us to encourage and love on the other that He does want all of us to meet!
I will send you an e-mail with the confirmation numbers soon!
Love ya,

This is the day to rejoice said...

I saw your post on Beth's blog...and then I saw the name of your blog and I must say Amen. "Forgiving --- Forgiven." How true. Forgiveness is one of the toughest things in the world for me. Thanks for letting me know I'm no the only one.

In Him.

Profbaugh said...


Looks like I'll be seeing you in San Antonio. Kim is reserving a room for me too!! Woo Hoo.